love for what it is.

today I see Gods love for what it really is. he gave his son for all of us. all of the pain that God and Jesus went through in bringing us to the point of salvation is mind blowing. he loves us that much. he chooses to love us. be a part of us. and understand us. it's a beautiful thing.

everything God puts us through, he does to make us holier. not happier, holier. even in the most heart breaking situations, where it seems like there's no hope, there is. God just wants us to be more like him, at whatever the cost.

"delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." - psalm 37:4

Voices in My Head

A Voice called out to me in the desert.
"Come, I'll give you something to drink.
You'll never be thirsty again."
But I loved feeling so dry.
I just continued on my way.

A Voice called to me in the bitter cold.
"Come, I have a warm place already made.
I'll carry you there, if you need."
But I loved holding all that anger.
I just continued on my way.

A Voice bellowed down from the roof of a building.
"Come to me, I just want you back.
Follow my voice,
And I'll do the rest."
I was dry. I was cold. I was lonely. I was empty.

So
I surrendered.

God's Church

God's church does not have denomination. God's church does not have politics. God's church is not concerned with your mistakes. God's church does not judge. God's church does not boast. God's church follows God.

I don't care if you're black, white, hispanic, gay, straight, homeless, or rich. I don't care if you like Obama or Romney. What you're going through right now does not change my perception of you. There are people out there who care. Some are just too concerned with social status, or grades among many other things. Set your heart on things above, and you'll find what you're really looking for.

Love like God loves. We are meant to be GOD'S church. Not the pastor's church. Not the priests church. Not the wise old man's church. We are the BODY of CHRIST. We follow Christ, no one else. Love like He does. Have faith like He does. Accept what He accepts.

Spirit in a Bottle

Several times over the past couple of days, my creative writing teacher has told me she loves my “spirit.” This woman is one of the most loving, caring, and crazy teachers I have ever had. Frankly, I wish I could have a little bit of her spirit, too. For her to tell me something like that meant a lot. In class she actually told me she wished she could bottle it up and hand it out to everyone she knows.

            I found it interesting that she use the word “spirit”, because people don’t often use that word to describe someone else’s personality.  Usually someone will use outgoing, or friendly, or something along the lines of that. The word spirit isn’t used as an adjective in most people’s vocabularies. It was interesting to me because of the simple fact that I am who I am because of the Spirit of God.

            I never came right out and told my teacher I am a follower of Christ. I hope that she and everyone else I come into contact with can identify me as a follower of Christ simply by the way I live. It’s just not always that easy though.  Sometimes we have tough questions that need answering, or our stubborn personalities get the best of us. Being surrendered to the Spirit can help all of us in every area of our lives.

            Something I’ve been learning over the past few days is the meaning of humility, grace, and mercy. Grace is receiving something we don’t deserve. Mercy is not getting what we deserve, but instead getting what we don’t deserve. (For example, we all deserve hell, but because of God’s mercy we can be saved from it). I’ve come to a better understanding of what humility is because of grace and mercy. Grace and mercy basically say we don’t deserve anything, but we get it anyways. We aren’t humble about things when we think we deserve it, but the truth is, we don’t deserve anything. We get it all through grace.

            I struggle with that. I think I deserve respect, I think I deserve someone or something, but God says otherwise. God says, “If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be breathing this breath. Everything you do is a gift. Don’t take advantage of it.”

            A blog I read recently was about leaking love. The author talked about an airplane he used to ride in, and every time he was done flying he would come out covered head to toe in oil. People knew he was flying, no questions asked. He talked about love being the same kind of thing. We should be so filled with love that it leaks out onto everyone around us.

            I think “bottling up” our spirits is very much the same. When we live a life lead by the Spirit of God, we reach out and touch everyone we come across with it. It comes wrapped up in a cute little bottle. Kind of like a wedding favor, but better, because it could change someone’s life.

            Bottom line, when we live life controlled by the Spirit, we understand people. We understand things we are struggling with understanding, like how can God send good people to hell, or what humility really is, or if it’s really okay to be a Christian and a Democrat all at the same time. God reveals it to us through little life experiences.        

            Wrap up His Spirit with you wherever you go. Hand it out to everyone you come into contact with. From there, let God do the work. Speak in a way that is honoring to the Lord, live in a way that is honoring to Him. People will see a difference and want a little bit of it. Make sure it’s available for them to have it.

Speak and be.

Realizing Redemption

Oh, to go back to that life without worry,
Going day by day without a fear.
Not knowing what it feels like to have the weight of the world to carry.
I know of a place where I can leave all that fear behind.
But I'm too scared to leave it there.
You see, this... this is what makes me mine.
This is what makes me into the person I see
When I look in the mirror every day.
I wish to wash these scars away
To brush the pain off
To but this bottle down and know I'm okay.
But I can't stop.
I don't stop until I'm broken down,
Forced to stop, to take a look at what I have become.
I cry out to God, "Oh, please forgive me!
I know the things I do wrong,
Please don't hold them against me.
I'm trapped inside, I can't get out
I'm locked in without a key.
Come down and help me find the me that's buried deep underneath."

He brought me back to when I was young
When I could trust for no reason,
And showed me that's the way to go
If I'm going to keep believing.

I need to search deep down inside
Without a bottle, without a flame
Just to find the perfect face
That matches with my name.

I need to let go of what makes me
Break the chains that bind me,
The person who I think I am but wasn't made to be.
To go back to the days
Where all I did was trust
So I don't find myself
Buried deep in my own dust.

Love and Hate Are All The Same

         I think love and hate are too alike to be different anymore. They're both words we all just throw around, "Oh, I love chocolate!" or, "I hate that song, it's awful." I think "really like" and "dislike" should be used in circumstances like that. Love and hate are thrown around way too much.

         Because of the way words like love, hate, and awesome are used, I think we forget the real meaning of them. True love is hard to come by. True love is death on a cross. From my perspective, true love is wanting God's will all the time for someone else's life. That could mean a world of sacrifice for you, but you would do it because you love that person. You just can't love chocolate in the same way.

         The same goes for hate. When I think of hate, I think of disliking someone so much I want them to be wiped off the face of the earth. That's a little harsh, I know. But I think that's what hate is. Which is why I don't think I have ever really hated anyone or anything, no matter how much I say I do.

         I think overused words just give us the wrong outlook. They make what we really mean unclear. I've been wrestling with this idea for a while, and the conclusion I have come to is that in the way we say love and hate, they are too alike to be different. And I don't think that's what they were meant to be for.

         This quote by AW Tozer sums it up pretty well, "Words fail and language is exhausted, but the redeemed heart rises up in adoration... Singing the hymn of the Lamb."

Speak and be.

failure

I finally got my driver's license yesterday. I guess the fourth time really is the charm...

There are several things I have learned from so many failures. Getting your license causes a lot of stress. Unnecessary stress. Also, don't give up. My mom told me a story about her taking some sort of test for something  important, and she failed it the first time. She said she was upset because she did so well in school, and she was sure she knew all of the information. But she didn't I guess because she failed it... She told me when she failed the first time, she told herself she would just try over and over again until she passed. I respect that attitude. I need to get that attitude.

Nobody likes failure. It's annoying. But it's something that comes in this life a lot. Something I think we all need to work out is how to accept failure, and how to strive to do better because of our failures. 

Yes, I have the freedom of a car and the wide open roads (when my mom doesn't need it), but I think what I learned the most was to make something out of failure.