Christ as Us

We Shouldn't Win the Battle

Fight with those who fight with me,
Unless we are fighting against You.

If we are fighting for Truth,
For Faith, for Hope, for Justice
Come along side and fight with us.

But if we are fighting for hatred,
for anger, for evil, for death,
Open the eyes of our hearts and show us how we are wrong.

Please don't let us build up an army to tear down Your Kingdom.



On this day about two thousand years ago, Jesus was no where to be found. His body no longer lay in the tomb, and everyone was mourning over his disappearance. Where did Jesus go? He lives in us. He works through us. If we let him in, he lives FOR us, so we have nothing to lose.

Sometimes we forget our God is walking right beside us because we can't physically hear him speak. Never forget He is inside of you, working in and through you always.

In the wise words of St. Patrick:

"Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me."

Happy Easter. 

Part One

I'm singing out what's left of me,
I don't know what to believe.
Buzzing all around me is
The plague that's rarely seen.

I know Something made the mountains,
The stars had to come from Somewhere,
This Heart inside my chest
was not meant to be a hazard.
It was crafted by Someone...
Something...
Somewhere.
I just don't always see it there.

Jovial Hypocrisy

Stand up, tall and proud
With that megaphone to your mouth.
Everyone's dying to hear what you have to say.
Please, just make sure they never see
What you really look like, when the spotlight goes away.
For you, it's opposite day every day,
So tell the world what you really want to say.
I'm sure they'll listen,
After all, you are like a prophet
With all the wisdom and knowledge in the world,
We all want to know what we're missing!

Excuse me, I'm sorry,
I don't think I heard you right?
Or maybe I did...
But I don't see what you preach in your life.
Preach it brother. Preach it sister.
See what happens,
When the ground below you crumbles
When your life tumbles down, down, down
Into that spiral you're not fond of.

I think it'd be nice
If we could think twice here,
If we would say what's right here,
If we could win the fight here.
But no... I'm sorry, I guess we can't.
Because everything we've ever learned
Is nothing but a lie here.

Notes Put to Rest

The curtain was closed on my days of being a nun and a trio. Frankly, I’m going to miss it. Probably more than I should. I still have another year of high school, and that means I still have another year of goofing off, having very little significant responsibility, and making wonderful high school memories. I really hope I can look back on memories I make in the future as fondly as I will look onto the ones I have made in the past few months.

As a freshman, I was too good for anything school related. I had an arrogant form of “senioritis” (I use that for lack of a better term), and I may have been one of the most obnoxious freshmen in the whole school. I tried out for the school musical, but again, I was too good for it, so I didn’t go to dancing rehearsals to try and get a part. That may have been one of the biggest mistakes of my life, and if the memories I missed out on because of my arrogance were as amazing as the ones I experienced in The Sound of Music, I’m just stupid for missing it.

The thing about theater kids is, they don’t care. They don’t care what you look like, how you feel, what kind of people you like, what color skin you have, or what your sexual orientation is. Most of them just love the person you are, and they hate when you’re fake. I think they have a sixth sense for stuff like that. It may just be me, but it’s just like a big giant family. When I went to auditions I was a little freaked out because the people I knew there were only acquaintances. I honestly did not have any friends. For some reason I went to all of the auditions I needed to go to (even though I didn’t really want to), got a part, and started to go to rehearsals. The first few were kind of rocky, I was a little lonely, but since I can basically keep up a conversation with a rock I was all right. After a while, though, I wanted to stay after school with all of my friends more than I wanted to go home and eat dinner. That’s a big deal, because I love my food.

I’m a junior this year, and I know in sports and things when you try out for a team and make it as a junior or sometimes even a sophomore, you just don’t mesh. I didn’t feel that way with these kids. I really think if I was coming to our high school for the first time and got involved in the theater, I would feel okay with leaving my old school.

It was hard coming home after school today. Actually, it wasn’t hard, it was weird. Staying after school until sometimes 9:30 at night starts to become normal, and breaking that normal today was a bit strange. I would like to thank every single one of the cast, crew, and directors for making mine and I’m sure a lot of other people’s school years. Thank you for teaching me life lessons that I will carry with me, making memories with me, and loving me. I can’t wait until next year to have a blast with all of you again. Seniors, you were awesome. You will all move on to bigger and better things, because that’s what you were made to do. Don’t forget about all of us still stuck in high school. Make sure you come visit.

So, the song has been sung. Thank you to everyone who sang in harmony with me. I look forward to doing it again in the future. 

"Palms Up"

I have always loved reading. Sometimes I’ll go through little spurts of reading constantly and wonder why I ever stopped. Other times I’m just busy. Between school and work and normal teenager things to do, it’s hard to find a spare hour to read a book. No matter what kind of book it is, I love reading it.  

 I was in a time where I was constantly reading, but I ran out of books. I posted on Twitter that I was looking for interesting books to read and my friend Bryce was the first to respond. He reminded me about a book I wanted to read for the longest time called Love Does by a man named Bob Goff.

            It wasn’t really Bob’s writing that kept me going, it was the crazy stories about his life that are both incredibly encouraging and unbelievable. He caught my attention with his first story about an adventure he went on with his friend Randy. Every story Bob told impacted me a little bit differently. Some made me want to be a better friend, others were just funny, and some helped me to understand who I really am. One of them helped me see a huge weakness of mine, which is anger. I personally like to call it defensiveness. It takes me a lot to get angry or even frustrated, but when it happens I definitely don’t take it the right way. I’ve been noticing this pattern a lot recently and trying to fix it. A story Bob Goff put in his book made me notice that I really did need to change and gave me a tip to help me out in fixing myself.

            He calls the chapter in his book “palms up”. Bob is a lawyer, so he deals with a lot of angry people. He says that when his clients go up to take the stand for questioning he tells them to sit with their hands on their knees and their palms facing the bottom of the table. The point he is basically trying to make is no one can be angry with their palms up. Next time you feel angry, try it. You’ll find that in the right mindset it’s a very good way of controlling yourself.

            I don’t think being “palms up” when I’m angry is enough though. I think that to live my life palms up means to constantly be surrendered to what God has planned for my life. Bob says he got this idea from Jesus. If you think about it, Jesus was always palms up. Never once did he fight back, not even when he very easily could have. He just took it because he loved even the people who were persecuting him.

            I came to this conclusion in my life somewhat recently, so it’s still in its trial period. So far I have been faced with several instances where I could have easily fought back, but I chose to sit palms up and came out of it more victorious than I would have felt if I won World War III. I’m slowly learning that it’s better to be vulnerable than it is to constantly have my guard up against everybody who I think is out to get me.

            Living a “palms up” kind of life is not a one-time thing, either. It’s waking up every morning and saying “Okay God, I get that you have something bigger for my life. Don’t let me get in the way of it.” It’s not easy and it’s really not even that fun, but it’s more than worth it. Every day is a successful day when I find myself living it palms up. Palms up is living a life that’s satisfying, whether I have the best day of my life or the worst day of my life. It’s a beautiful thing, and I’ve seen beautiful things in the past living life like that. It’s good to have a reminder every once in a while, because I forget having control over my life is not as good as God having control over my life. So, I’m learning, but I know that I have never once and never will walk alone, even if I do decide to engage in World War III.

Slumps

The History Channel started a movie series of The Bible last week, and it had me very impressed. They’re doing it every Sunday night for five weeks. The accuracy that was in it was so much better than I expected it to be, mostly because it is the Bible and the Bible unfortunately tends to be overlooked in today’s culture.  I caught the second episode – the one about Moses – last week. It inspired me to actually dive into God’s word and read a little bit of Moses’ story. I’m not one to particularly enjoy the Old Testament, but when I read it I learn some really cool life lessons.

Moses was sent to Egypt by God to set the Israelites free from the slavery and hardships they were facing. He and his brother Aaron approached Pharaoh and asked him to let their people go. Pharaoh said no, and instead of just going on his merry way and keeping everyone’s lives the same, he made work even more difficult for the Israelites than it was already. Rather than giving them straw to make bricks, he forced the Israelites to go searching for their own straw and still match the same quota. This lead to much harsher punishments from the Egyptians, because the Israelites could not make their quota for each day without straw being supplied to them directly. It really just wasn’t possible.

The thing is, at this point the Israelites knew about Moses and knew what he said about God letting them go free. They expected freedom, but they just got harsher treatments. Their lives became a lot more difficult before God brought them to freedom. That got me thinking, how often does that happen in our lives?

It’s similar to the whole “It’s always darkest before the dawn” concept. It’s something that I hate to hear because it’s so cliché. The thing is, it’s true. I think God allowed the Israelites to experience those things because if they didn’t, they may not have had as great of an appreciation for what He ended up doing for them. When I think about times of doubt in my own life, and I feel like I can’t see God anywhere, I get in a really weird spot spiritually. I get a little depressed, lose some faith, lose connections with good Christian friends that I have, and my life just isn’t as enjoyable. I fall into a spiritual slump that is kind of difficult to get out of.

I think I appreciate those slumps just as much as I appreciate my life when my relationship with God is really good. Those slumps stink when I’m in them, but once I get out of them I see the way God worked his way through it with me. I look back and see that He really never did let me walk alone. Even when I blinded myself to His ways, I look back now and see it. It’s beautiful. It gets me to a better understanding of God than I would have had if I never went through it.

I know times get tough; I’ve experienced it myself. I know that when it looks like God isn’t there it really feels like He isn’t. Just never lose sight of what’s ahead. Always keep your eyes turned to the prize at the end of the race. Sometimes all the things the world has to offer distract us from living our lives the way we should. I know from my own experience that in the long run, those things are not worth it. Not even in the least. God never lets us go. Not even in our darkest days. You can’t say that about money, people, or material things.

A guys I know named Aaron came up with this, and I know it encourages me to think about it when I’m going through my own spiritual slump, I hope it does the same for you.

“In Brightest Day, In Blackest Night, I cannot escape His sight. He who loves me with all His might, He casts out all fear, Jesus Christ, the Light.”

            

A Look at Respect

            Respect seems to be something that is in high demand but rarely seen. I think as an American I, along with a lot of others, tend to take our freedoms out of the context in which we they were put into place. We take freedom of speech to an extreme, occupying the front of our county courthouse in opposition to the most recent law being passed. I think this is an amazing freedom. Without it, we would not be America. I also think this freedom is taken too far on occasion. We will defend our opinions no matter what it takes until we’re blue in the face. The thing is, if you do it without respect, no one will hear it. That’s why nothing changes. I think people don’t hear things I have to say sometimes because I’m not coming from a perspective of respecting them, I’m just telling them my opinion no matter what it takes. We all do it, but like I said, no one hears it unless we respect that person.

I’ve asked several people in the past how to define the word respect. I decided to ask a man whom I have a ton of respect for; because I figured he of all people would be able to come to a definition. He started off by saying, “It’s a certain amount of affection...” and then he stopped because he couldn’t explain it. I also asked several other people. Very few of them could come up with an answer they were confident with.

Why is respect such a difficult thing to answer? It’s something that is so common in all of our lives, and we can’t define it. Try to put respect into words right now. You could show it, but it’s so hard to explain.

            I don’t think I really have a solid point or a conclusion I’ve come to thinking through this besides the fact that respect is something I need to work on in my own life. I think every single human being deserves respect, because they’re a person too. That could be a very controversial opinion, but it’s what I believe. Every single person is a person, no matter who they are. No matter their position, looks, actions, where they live, how they’ve changed, they’re still a human being who deserves some form of respect. I don’t always do that. I need to realize my job isn’t to judge others. It’s to love others, and respect them for simply being.

I have a teacher who is incredibly sarcastic. I have a ton of respect for her. When I do something stupid or do something questionable in class she calls me out on it. I could very easily get offended by her saying whatever she says sometimes, but I know she respects me. I know she’s saying things either because she’s just joking around or she’s genuinely looking out for my well-being. I know she respects me, so I don’t get upset.

            I think that’s what we all need to do, especially if we want our voices to be heard. We need to show people that we respect them and then they’ll listen. If I didn’t know my teacher had respect for me, I would have a completely different opinion of her. In order to be heard we first need to be respected and to show respect. The demand for respect doesn’t need to go down, but showing respect needs to go up.

            I believe my generation has a lot of talent and can do a lot of really amazing things. I think before we do that, we need to learn what respect really is and how to get it. To older generations we look like a bunch of “hoodlums”. But that’s not what we are at all. We need to show people who are older than us that that isn’t us. We need to be what we were meant to be. We need to change the world. We need to show older generations respect so that they can respect us, and trust putting their world into our hands. I know we can. I hope we will. I hope that one day my generation will genuinely be a world changer. I believe it’s possible, and I won’t not believe it until the day I die. Respect is so abstract and so concrete at the same time. This is how I feel about it. 

Processing Change

It’s amazing how much life can change over time. I look back to two years ago and realize that I am a completely different person now than I was then. I thought what I knew then was all that life had to offer. Now I’m here at this stage of my life, and now I think this is all there is. Two years from now maybe I’ll be in the same position, and it will be an endless cycle until my life is ended. Or until I realize that now is not all we have, it’s only all we know.

We spend a lot of time in now. Actually, we spend our whole lives in now. To me, now means right this second. This breath, this movement, this moment in life where I can experience what is right in front of me to the fullest extent. Now is all we know. We can look back on the past, and we can try our best to plan out our future, but ultimately, the only thing we can be sure of is right now (and the afterlife, but that’s a whole different topic).

Sometimes we get so trapped in the here and now, we are blinded to change. For whatever reason, we like to make life as predictable as possible. You wake up every morning, brush your teeth and then take a shower. After that you grab a cup of coffee, sit down and watch television for a couple minutes. Once you’re done with all that, you’re off to see what your day holds. All of us have a different morning routine, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say we all get very frustrated when those routines change unexpectedly. You’re parents didn’t make the coffee this morning so now you’re stuck doing it, and you lose a valuable two minutes that you will never get back. Sometimes the smallest changes seem to ruin your whole day if you let them.

I think we get most frustrated by little things like that when we aren’t living for right now. I think when our predictable lives are interrupted (to a larger extent than simply a morning routine); we are really stuck in the past. We love the things that are familiar to us, and we avoid things that are different. When we’re sad, we go to the people who are closest to us for comfort because they are familiar. It would be incredibly peculiar to go to a stranger and talk out your problems. If you did that, whomever you choose as the lucky person to hear your life story would probably think you’re crazy. Because we love predictability so much, we often go back to what we have done or what has happened in the past. The past will always be familiar because we will always know what it has held.

It’s fear. Fear is driving us to live such consistent lives. Fear makes us angry, and it makes us frustrated when something different comes along because we are not comfortable with it. We fear change. We avoid change because we don’t know the consequences that may come with it, whether they are good or bad. That’s something to be fearful of. Our instincts take us back to what is comfortable. Change is uncomfortable; no matter what kind of change it is. Sometimes we need to be uncomfortable for a little while in order to find something more comfortable. Sometimes our hearts need to be broken first before they can be fixed. Sometimes contradictions are the reason for living. 

We are only going to live life to its fullest extent when we embrace change. We are imperfect people who serve a perfect God. He desires for us to become more and more like him every day. Because we are imperfect people, we require a lot of change. Every day, we should be different than we were the day before. Change is not only a key to our life, but also a key to our spiritual journey.

If we are unwilling to take the key and unlock the doors that lead us to become more Christ like, we will never change. If we never change, then we really aren’t trusting God and what he has for our lives, right? Think about it.

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” – Philippians  4:13